How To Tell If Something Is A Cult - The Warning Signs Explained

If you are wondering how to tell if something is a cult and you want a few pointers that will be immediately obvious, then there is a summary table below. However, I don't believe that such an approach to understanding cults is useful.

First of all, if reading about a few pointers was all that was necessary, people would read them, know their group was a cult, and then leave.

Secondly, cult members cannot easily see the signs of control in their own group. That is why they are still in it! This is the nature of mind control, thought reform, coercive control, whatever you want to call it.

And thirdly, some explanations need more than a few words.

Ok, if you are genuinely interested in diving into some details, let's go...!

How to tell if something is a cult

Cults nowadays have evolved a lot from olden times. They are complex, diverse, often hidden in plain sight and can be quite sophisticated.

People often think of a cult as a group of people who live in a commune, dress in orange robes or other weird garb, who shave their heads or have other markings and who do a lot of meditating and chanting. Cults nowadays are nowhere near as obvious as this.

Not all cults isolate the members, for example. Many cult members live in their own homes, are married with kids, have a job and so on. From the outside you would be hard pressed to consider them cult members. And they never even consider that they themselves could possibly be in a cult, of course!

Some cults are indeed 'secret societies'. Others are listed on stock exchanges around the world! Some cults may have as few as 5 members, others have millions. Cults are not just organized around religion or politics. There are cults organized around martial arts, yoga, personal development, hairdressing, dentistry, health products, alternative health modalities, audio-visual brain training machines and so on.

There are even cults set up to take advantage of people who are looking for help leaving cults!!

It's useful to think of an abusive family as a cult of 2, 4 or x number of people, too. Same manipulative techniques, same effects. The damage done in families can be more intense, however, because all the manipulator's attention is directed at only 3 or 4 people rather than 3,000 or 4,000 and in a family situation there is often more time in contact with the leader than in a broader cult.

In other words, there are no stereotypical cults. There are a huge variety.

So what DO they have in common?

Is my group a cult?

In order to decide if a group is a destructive cult, we have to have some way to distinguish it from normal, healthy groups.

How do we define a destructive cult?

You can read the definition of a cult versus a destructive cult here. Chances are it is not going to help you decide if the group you are concerned about is a cult or not. The definition was decided upon by experts who understand the inner workings of controlling groups and is somewhat technical. And as I said, the members of a cult are the ones who have most difficulty seeing the indicators of danger in their own group. We will get to why this is so very shortly.

Having said all that, cult experts suggest there are 3 factors that are present in destructive cults.

1. Authoritarian leadership
2. Deception
3. A system of thought reform, (or mind control)

Again, cult members armed with this list are not really any closer to being able to distinguish cults from healthy groups.

First of all, their idea of the leader/s are very heavily manipulated. They consider that the leaders are all knowing, superior human beings who have special information and even sometimes special powers! They may consider that the leaders are somewhat strict, but they will quickly justify this by saying that the leaders are thinking globally and their behavior is necessary to keep things in order. They consider that their leaders, in general, are law abiding citizens who pay their taxes, who follow the rules of society and wouldn't dream of harming others.

Deception. Well, that's the very reason the cult members won't see it. They are deceived. They have been tricked by experts in the field, by professional conmen.

If you tell a cult member that they may be in a cult, they may react very strongly, even aggressively. Nobody has held a gun to their heads, they retort. They will insist that they make their own decisions. In fact, they will insist that the leaders have been specifically teaching them how to make their own decisions.

On top of all that, the leaders will often have told the members that outsiders may claim that the group is a cult. The leader then teaches the members how to respond to such accusations. So when an outsider mentions the word cult, the member considers the leader a genius for knowing it was going to happen and will be pleased to be able to 'refute' such claims.

When you listen to different members responding to the cult claim, it can be startling to recognize how similar each one is in terms of the ideas, the language and even the words and phrases they use to defend the group.

Ok, I hear you ask, how does all this show up in daily life? What are the specific things I can look out for and actually recognize to be able to know how to tell if something is a cult? Good question!

How do cults work?

I am going to explore some of the inner workings of cults here. I will discuss not just the tactic, but how it works, why it works and what you need to be able to see it.

I am going to assume that you are reading this because you have serious questions about a group you are in, or a group that a family member or friend is in. Some of the things I say you might not agree with, or you may think that they are not applicable to your group.

It's worth considering the ideas here and questioning whether what you believe to be true is actually true or not. Even if begin to have doubts about some of your strong beliefs, then it will have been a useful exercise for you.

People don't willingly join a cult. They join a group in which they are going to learn martial arts, have a special relationship with god, improve their selling skills, lose weight, get support in their grief over the death of a spouse, develop a healthier diet, or enjoy a new hobby. Some people accept a job in the area in which they were searching.

In each case, the group was offering what the person was looking for. You want money, the group is offering you work. You want to develop personally? The group has a way to make you feel great about yourself and will teach you how to make decisions from this position. You want a relationship, this new person seems to fit the bill perfectly.

I am not going to go into huge detail here about cult recruiting process. You can read a detailed step-by-step description of the process here.

Cult warning signs

The important thing right now is that the cult offers you almost exactly what you want. I say almost exactly because in the initial steps of the recruitment process there is a bit of distortion. The distortion is this. You want something. The cult tells you about their techniques and ideas and explains how what they are offering would be ideal for you. In the moment, it seems to make sense. All you have to do is to go just a little beyond your own beliefs towards theirs, and you will have your answer.

You don't necessarily think in these terms as it is happening. It seems as if they have just offered you some information and a solution. You are just aware that it feels good.

The cult recruiter then amplifies these good feelings. Look how quick you are learning! You will go far in this group! Imagine being able to solve problems this easily in the future!

Now we are into the love bombing phase. At the emotional extremes, people do not make good decisions, decisions that are in their own best interests. Cults exploit this and get people into great states during the initial interactions, they then magnify these states, link the states to the group and they are off to the races.

Let me back up a moment.

What did you go along to the group for? What exactly? It's useful to be as precise as you can here. Was it increased income? Was it to learn how to play some sport? Was it to get more clients? Lose weight? Reduce your inhaler medication dosages?

Now, did you get what you wanted? Be careful with the answer here. If you think, "Not yet, but I will get there soon!" then this is a warning sign.

First of all, what was the goal you were aiming for initially? The answer has to be expressed in some measurable way. For example, specific numbers in your bank account, or a specific number of clients, or half my inhaler medication.

If you say, I wanted better relationships, or I wanted to be happy all the time, or I wanted to make better decisions in relationships, then this is another problem.

How to tell if something is a cult - unrealizable goals

The reason I am going on about this is that in cults, the members rarely achieve their goals. They continually have the sense that they are nearly there. Over the next few months, I will be earning more money. After the next seminar I will have that happiness. Once I get to the next level, my decision making will be where I want it. Just a few more sessions and I will be in the state I need to be in to have a good relationship.

In cults, the goal is just out of reach, but it stays out of reach, often for years. This is because the cults set impossible tasks for the members. It is not possible to never sin, or to always be happy, or to forever be in your best state. The leaders often claim to have achieved such things, but cult leaders are professional liars!

Now, the second part of this is, what else did you get that you were not expecting?

Many unsuspecting cult members are wildly excited about this idea. They will tell you about how they have learned so much, their relationships are so much better, they feel happier, they will tell you that the group has transformed their lives. They are happy about making better decisions to improve their life.

They feel honoured to be part of the group. They feel privileged to know the leader. They will, at some point, expound on his (or her!) virtues, his intelligence, his wisdom, his understanding, his skills and they will also invite you along to the group so that you can experience all of this for yourself.

If you recognize your tendency to do this, too, or if you have actually done this, then you are likely in a cult.

Think about it this way. Let's say you join a tennis club because you want to do some exercise. You played earlier in life and really enjoyed it and you fancy taking it up again. You go along on Tuesday evening and Thursday morning early, before work. You start to get to know some people. You look at some youtube videos to get a few ideas for improvement. You discuss some of these ideas with your new friends at the club.

You thoroughly enjoy your sessions, even though you recognize that you are not a particularly strong player. You work up a sweat. You have a laugh. You leave feeling tired but refreshed.

When you leave the tennis club on Thursday morning, for example, you go straight to work. Your attention is on work, not tennis. You don't even think of tennis until the weekend when you share with a friend that you have taken it up again.

On Monday evening, you are getting into bed and you realize that you forgot to pack your tennis bag so that you can save yourself a few minutes the next day.

All this to say that tennis is tennis and the rest of your life is the rest of your life. They are separate activities.

What are the early signs of a cult?

Now consider joining a squash club. You have only played twice a few years ago and are a bit apprehensive. You arrive the first day and you are made to feel welcome straight away. In the changing room are some of the members of the club and the atmosphere is 'buzzing'.

They ask you if you have played before, you say not really and they reassure you that you will be fine, that they are used to showing new people the ropes.

Eventually you are out on a court playing. Some of the older members are keeping an eye on you. One person asks if you are sure you have not played before and when you reply that you have only played twice, they tell you that you could be very good at this. With a little training you will improve rapidly.

Later on, someone tells you the the president of the club is a fantastic coach and he gives free training classes every now and then. In fact, there is one on the following Wednesday, that you should go, it will be worth it. Throughout the session, other people say nice things about you. They ask questions about you. They seem genuinely interested in getting to know you.

Even when you are walking out the door, someone else asks you if you will be along on Wednesday. You explain that you have something planned but you will see if you can free things up. When you get into your car, you feel great! Exhilarated even!

Basically, you have been love bombed!

You show up on Wednesday. There are only 3 new people. The other members say that this is great because each will get lots of personal time with the coach.

Very briefly, the coach is friendly, happy, enthusiastic. He talks a lot. At times he seems a bit touchy-feely, but the fact is what you make the movements he suggests, it actually feels very good, and your shots are better. The initial discomfort quickly disappears.

Again, if you want more details, I suggest the article I mentioned above.

More signs of a cult

The end result is that you sign up for classes twice a week. Within a few weeks, you are also playing at the weekends. There are mini competitions at the weekends which are fun, and there are snacks and drinks afterwards.

You are also paying the coach for some classes because you are improving rapidly in your skills with the classes. The coach tells you you are doing very well, and that feels good.

It turns out that the coach is also big into diet. Most of the members have changed their diet to either build muscle, lose weight, tone up or whatever. It turns out that the coach is giving advice to each person about what they want.

You notice that when the members get together, which is quite often, they do talk about squash but a lot of their attention is actually on the coach, what he says, what he does and so on.

One girl said that the coach told her that her boyfriend was not good for her, so she broke up with him and, oh my goodness, how much better her life is now without him. He didn't play squash either, by the way! She has more time to do other things.

In fact, she is now going to organize a free introductory session every two weeks for anyone who wants to try squash for the first time. She is busy making posters to put around the neighborhood and the coach is absolutely thrilled with the idea!

You think that you would like to have the boss thrilled with you like that. (All these little details are important if you want to learn how to spot a cult!)

You are already talking to people around you about your squash club. You talk quite a bit about the coach, too. It seems like he knows about everything. He has strong opinions about many things. When he speaks, the group members listen intently. He knows how to keep their attention!

This happens to be a key feature of cults. Robert Lifton, a cult expert, points out that the interest of the members starts out on the activities of the group but is quickly switched to worship of the leader. This, of course, is barely noticeable to cult members but may be glaringly obvious to their friends and family members.

This is a major indicator, one which, with a little introspection and honesty, a cult member can recognize.

Characteristics of a cult leader

So for example, if you joined a club to do squash, or follow a political idea, or find god, and you find yourself wanting to be as close to, or you are trying to emulate, the leader, then you have a problem. If you joined a personal development group to find your own path, and you want to be doing exactly what the leader wants, then there is something seriously wrong this picture.

Let's go back to the question of what else did you get from the cult that you were not expecting. As I mentioned, cult members who do not recognize cult behavior in a group will be delighted with what they got.

The reality is, though, that cults take over people's lives. In the short example above, the cult is taking more and more of the members's time. The members pay more to the leadership than they envisioned. The cult, or rather the leader, is giving advice on diet, relationships, exercise and other activities.

I said that cults may not formally isolate the members. The members externally may be living the same lives as before, but internally, in their heads, the leader is. The cult ideas have taken front and center stage. Every aspect of life is filtered through the cult ideas.

Life for cult members is organized with the cult at the center. This has become the most important aspect of their lives. Everything else is made to be secondary, less important.

The members will accept losing out on other parts of their lives but cannot manage without the cult and the cult activities. This is why they will prioritize the cult over their own families. They spend less and less time with people who are not in the cult. In this way, you could say, they are mentally isolated from outsiders.

The difficulty is that the members often have no sense of this. They know they can go and see family when they want. It's just that they are busy and there is no compelling reason to do so right now. They think that they will get around to it later.

An unexpected 'gift' that keeps on giving

There is something else that the cult members get that they have no idea about.

They have a cult personality imposed on them from the start. Cults change the members perceptions, ideas, beliefs, decision making, emotions, activities, their relationships with the outside world and even their relationships with themselves.

All these changes add up to a personality change. You can read more about the dynamics of how this is done in this article about mind control tactics. Cults basically create a cult personality in the members.

This pseudopersonality is programmed to accept and trust the leader. It is programmed to follow the leader. It is made to be dependent on the leader. It is trained to defend the group and the leader. It is trained to defend itself!

The doctrine of the cult becomes the master program for this pseudopersonality. In this way, the pseudopersonality always knows what to think, say and do because it is following the master program.

All the programming is for the benefit of the group, and more specifically, for the benefit of the leader. The pseudopersonality will put the wants and needs of the group ahead of it's own wants and needs. This is why cult members will often do things that are not in their own best interests.

This pseudopersonality in put in place with very strong influence techniques over months and years. The cult members are not aware of this. They are not aware of the huge psychological forces being used against them. They firmly think that they are making their own decisions.

When cult members leave the group, this pseudopersonality stays in place. This causes huge problems. First, it is recognizable to other manipulators so they will take advantage of it. This means people end up in cult after cult, or bad relationship after bad relationship.

The second thing is that the master program keeps running, it does not simply disappear because the person has left the group. The same ideas and beliefs are running the person's life. This is going to cause major issues in the world outside the cult.

Undoing this pseudopersonality requires education, time and work.

How to tell if something is a cult - more specifics

Now that you have the idea of the pseudopersonality, we can look at other indicators that let you know how to tell if something is a cult.

The leader is always right. The leader is never to blame for anything. And the leader's decision is final. I mentioned about the authoritarian leadership in cults. Well, the pseudopersonality is also programmed to believe, or at least accept, that the leader is right at all times.

One of my clients who was in a personal development cult had a lump on her hand and the doctors were initially unsure about what it might be. She went to the cult leader thinking that surely he would know what it was!

There is no criticism or questioning of the leader allowed. The leader, on the other hand, is absolutely allowed to criticize anyone and anything.

There is often a strong sense in cults of 'us' and 'them'. The members consider that in the group they have learnt, studied, understand more than outsiders. This creates a sense of superiority over outsiders. This is often enhanced by the significant goal of the group.

The leader often has instilled in the members that they are involved in a very important project to improve the world in some way. "If only everyone knew these ideas, the world would be such a different, better place!"

It's interesting the number of cults who talk about doing 'the work', or even 'The Work'. This sense of being part of something larger, being part of a group is a technique that is used to destroy individual boundaries and enmesh people in the identity of the group. It is an important part of establishing the pseudopersonalities.

Cult members adore the leaders. If you ask them to list three defects of the leader, they are often unable to do it. Nobody is perfect and it's normal to be able to mention faults of others. But the cult members are not able to do so with the leadership. Sometimes they will mention something but then justify it as necessary for the benefit of the group. "Oh sure, he talks a lot, but it's important that he shares his ideas with us." Or, "Yes, he changes his mind frequently, but that is because he lives so much in the present." Things that might be considered as faults in others have been redefined in the leader as beneficial to the group.

Cult members often have a sense of having met life long friends in the group. They feel at home, comfortable, as if they are among family. They feel that these relationships will last forever.

When people do leave a cult, they are often ostracized. They are shocked to find that their so called friends no longer want anything to do with them. Cult leaders do not want the current members having contact with ex-members. After all, they are ex-members for a reason. They have usually left because of some discontent or other and the cult leadership obviously do not want those ideas spread among the current members.

Because of this, ex members are often spoken badly of in the group. They are called, lazy, sinners, unwilling to put in the effort, losers, stupid and so on. This is one of the (many!) factors that make it difficult for members to leave. At the back of their mind, they do not want the people in the group to think of them in such terms.

Digital age cults

The internet has been a boon for cult leaders, giving them access to people all over the planet. There are many online groups nowadays where the members may never actually meet the leaders.

Nevertheless, the same dynamics are used by the cult leaders to attract members, impose a pseudopersonality and train these members to invite others. The agenda of online cults is the same as any other cult, of course, recruit new members and take their money!

You can read about some specific cults in this article at 247tempo.com about some of the more destructive ones in existence today.

How to tell if something is a cult - summary

How to tell if something is a cult - outside opinions

For some of the reasons I have outlined, it can be very difficult for cult members to clarify for themselves whether they are in a controlling group or not.

Outside help and advice can be crucial. This help can be from trusted friends and family members who are often much more easily able to assess the situation.

Help can also be obtained from speaking to ex-members. This can be tricky because unless you know why the person left the group, suspicions, doubt and fear can make it difficult to get in contact with them. Suspicions, doubt and fear not only on your part, but on their part, too. They may be very afraid to speak to you because they may not be aware of where your head is at and they may be concerned about the group coming after them or stepping into a trap and so on.

What to do if you think you are in a cult

If you are having doubts, there is a reason for those doubts. Do NOT ignore them! Time investigating whether the group is a controlling group is time well spent.

It is not a good idea to ask other members if they think it is a cult or not. They are programmed to stay, to recruit new people and to convince doubters to stay!

As an experiment, stay away from the group for 3 or 4 weeks. If you cannot do it, then chances are that you are in trouble. Don't underestimate the dependency cults create in the members.

If it is dawning on you that you are in a cult, then you need more information. Information about mind control, psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. You need to understand that you are being take advantage of, no matter how much you think the leader may be helping you.

And you need to get out! That is a big job and getting help is important. Help from family and friends and professional help.

How to tell if something is a cult - more reading

If you want to know how to tell if something is a cult, or not, information is fundamental. You need a frame of reference against which you can compare and contrast the suspicious group. To this end, knowledge is something you can't have enough of!

Learn more here about:

• What defines a cult?
• Why are cults dangerous?
• What to do if you suspect a friend is in a cult
• How to escape a cult and
• Life after leaving a cult

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